All Volunteer Yacht Club

Nautical Jokes Page 6

Jokes - Funny Stories

Celebrating the lighter side of boating!
Welcome to one of the more extensive nautical jokes pages on the Internet! Please share a joke with us. Use the form at the end of this page. We will not pay you but you will feel darn groovy knowing you participated.

Now SIX Big Joke Pages!

Page 6= Newest Jokes / Pages 5, 4, 3, 2= Older Jokes / Page1 = Oldest Jokes /
All are Funny!

Our  Jokes Page! Joke Page 5
Joke Page 4 / Joke Page 3
Joke Page 2 / Joke Page 1

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Many of our joke are original. You may NOT profit from them in any way.
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Low Bar

New Joke Can I help You?

Pat and Mike went fishing. Pat asked Mike if he would carry his fishing gear.

The Mike said, "yes if you really want me to".

When they got to the fishing hole Pat asked Mike if he would bait his line.

The answer was: "yes if you really want me to".

"Would you mind casting for me", asked Pat.

"If you really want me to", was the answer.

A little while later Pat's bobber began to hop.

Mike said, "You've got a fish Pat, reel him in".

Pat asked, "Could you do it for me?"

Mike screamed, "You should get married Pat, settle down and have some kids!"

Pat asked, "Do you know where I can find a pregnant woman?"

Our Jokes Float

What's My Line?

The teacher asked the young students,"Was George Washington a soldier or a sailor?"

One student stood up and said with authority,"He could not have been a sailor. A sailor would have known better than to stand up in a boat!"

Thanks for Stopping By!

Two Cruises or Not To Cruise

At the beauty shop the conversation turned to cruising.

"My husband once won two cruises in a raffle." said a customer.

The beautician said, "That's wonderful! Did you have a good time?"

"No", Said the customer, "He went twice!"

Our Jokes Float

No! - You Get To Go First!

An elderly farmer in Florida had a very nice large pond on his property.

One evening he decided to go down to the pond. He had not been there for a while, and wanted to pick some peaches from the trees lining the pond. He grabbed a five gallon bucket and headed out. As he got near he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. He saw several young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all swam to a deep part of the pond. The farmer yelled in their direction, "this is private property. Can't you read the signs?"

One of the women shouted back, "We will leave but we are not coming out until YOU leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm just here to feed the alligator."


Thanks for Stopping By!

That's My Story and I'm Sticking to It!

A preacher was boating towards an island for a special wedding. On the way he was stopped by the marine patrol. After a quick check of the life preservers on board one patrol officer noticed a box with a few bottles in it.
“What's in the bottles, Reverend?” "It's holy water", came the response.
The officer opened one of the bottles. Sniffing it he said, "It smells like wine."
"Hallelujah!" the preacher shouted, "He's done it again!"

Thanks for Stopping By!

Watch Your Lingo!

One foggy night a mother mouse and children climbed off of a boat and were on the wharf searching for food. One of the offspring was suddenly confronted by a large Tomcat from a nearby ship. The mother ran to the defense and started barking and growling like a huge dog. The cat, not knowing what to make of things, ran off into the mist. She gathered her kids and told them: "Now you understand the importance of a second language!"

Two Men in a Boat Pages
Two Men in a Boat
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Here's To Your Health

The three fisherman were shocked when an angel appeared in the boat. The angel said, "I would like to do something nice for each of you".

The first fisherman spoke up, " I have suffered with back pain for years". The angel touches the man's back and he felt instant relief.

The second fisherman said, " I am nearly blind without my glasses! The angel took off his glasses and threw them out of the boat. The instant they hit the water the man's eyesight cleared to the point of perfect.

The angel turned towards the third fisherman who was half out of the boat. As he hit the water he cried, "Don't touch me - it took me two year to get on disability!

Thanks for Stopping By!

Can You Fix Me?

The seaman was suffering from a bad cold and begs the Ship's Doctor for some relief.

The Doc prescribed a few pills but after a week the seaman was still ill. So the Doctor gave the seaman several shots with no result.

"Okay, this is what I want you to do, "said the doctor. Go to the the bow of the ship. Take off your shirt and Lean into the freezing mist for thirty minutes.

I'll do it sir but aren't you afraid I'll catch Pneumonia? "Maybe, "said the Doctor, "but at least I know how to cure that!"

Thanks for Stopping By!

Pun Fishing

Two fishermen were out on the lake when one of them dropped his wallet.

As they watched the wallet float down to the depths of the lake, a carp came along and snatched up the wallet.

Soon came another carp who stole it away and then a third joined in. Remarked one of the fisherman, "That's the first time I've ever seen carp-to-carp walleting."

AVYC would like to apologize for this joke.

Our Jokes Float

Let's Play Pretend!

The navy psychiatrist was interviewing a potential recruit. To determine the young man's response to looming trouble, the psychiatrist asked, " Imagine looking out the window right now and seeing an enemy battleship coming down the street. What would you do?"

The recruit scoffed, " It's a city street! No ship could make it anywhere near here!

"Come on, use your imagination!" snapped the psychiatrist.

"Okay", said the recruit, "I guess I would sink it with a torpedo.

"And just where would you get the torpedo?", asked the frustrated psychiatrist.

"I imagine I would get it from the same place we got the battleship."

Thanks for Stopping By!

Building a Solid Base!

A sailor, ran aground on a sandbar. A passing fisherman offered to tow the sailor's boat off the bar for fifty dollars and the sailor agreed.

After he was off the bar, the sailor joked that at at $50 a pop the fisherman could make a nice living pulling people off the sandbar day and night.”“

"Can't at night,” replied the fisherman. “At night I haul sand.”

Thanks for Stopping By!

I Met My Match !

After the boat was pulled into the dock, a stunningly beautiful woman disembarked with a parrot on her shoulder.

“Where did you get that?” asked one of the dock hands.

“Met her online,” replied the parrot.

Thanks for Stopping By!

"There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot." ~ Steven Wright
Our Jokes Float

One Step, Two Step, Slide

Two sailors meet each other on a pier.
Both are dragging their right foot as they walk.
One points to his foot and says, "Pearl Harbor, World War II!"
The other points and says, "Seagull crap, 20 feet back!"

Thanks for Stopping By!

Time for Intervention?

A shark enters a drinking establishment in and demands service. The Catfish bartender approached saying, "We don't serve drinks to sharks in here." The lady dogfish at the end of the bar piped in as well; “Get your scaly face out of here!”

The shark became slightly ticked and bit off a large section of table then said, "I want a drink now!" The Catfish calmly said, "I told you, we don't serve drinks to sharks in this bar." The lady dogfish again gives the shark a piece of her mind saying, “Get out you ugly, toothy brute.”

Hearing that made the shark very angry. He went to the end of the bar table and devoured the lady dogfish before she could give him any more lip.
The bartender now said, "Now you have really done it. We absolutely don't serve sharks that do drugs."

In a bit of confusion the shark said, "But I never use drugs!"
To this the Catfish bartender told him, "Yes you do. That was a barbitchyouate."

Thanks for Stopping By!
Say Again?

A German radio operator, while monitoring the emergency channels, heard a distressed voice saying, "we are sinking, we are sinking", The operator keyed the mike and said, "Okay, what are you sinking about?"

This is a joke submitted anonymously but with these instructions; - )
"This joke is funny und you vill like it!"

Thanks for Stopping By!

Sinking Tag Line

Late one foggy night two boaters collide head-on while trying to navigate a narrow inlet channel. Both their boats were damaged, disabled and slowly sinking.

As they each watched their boats slowly slip away beneath them, the first boater said " You know, this is a sign that we should never take life for granted and that we should live it to the fullest".

"You are right," said the other boater as he opened a cooler and pulled out a bottle of bourbon whisky. Let's drink to living well for the rest of our lives.

The first boater took the bottle and, after a big swig, handed it back to the other boater who in turn quickly threw it into the river.

More than a little surprised the first boater exclaimed " You didn't take a drink!?"

"Naw", said the other boater "I think I'll just wait for the Coast Guard to show up."

Thanks for Stopping By!

Warning, Warning, Warning!

Posted on the ship's Bulletin board:

Due to the increased reports of excessive alcohol consumption the ship's doctor issues theses warnings.

Warning: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering while your shipmates are trying to sleep.

Warning: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your shipmates over and over again that you love them.

Warning: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that every lover in every port is dying for you to call at four in the morning.

Warning: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think that you can dance and that falling down is part of that process.

Dire Warning: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are actually smarter than the captain.

Our Jokes Float

You're Not Alone Sailor

"Why such long face John?" asked the other seaman.

"I don't know," said John "maybe It's just that we have been at sea for so long and I'm so depressed I cant seem to do anything right. Most of the time I feel so alone and useless!"

Smiling and nodding in an understanding way, the other seaman said, "John, I don't know if this helps but let me assure you; you are not alone. Most of us on the ship feel you're useless too."

Thanks for Stopping By!

News Flash

One ship carrying blue paint collided with another ship carrying red paint.

The crew is missing and believed to be marooned!

Source: Reader's Digest Submitted by Andre Alves-Areias

You Nautical Romantic You!

“Dear Heart, I had a great dream last night about you.”

“Oh? What was I doing?” She asked with a little giggle.

”You were buying me a new boat.”

“How Nice.” Was her cool response, “ Tonight, why don’t you dream up a way to pay for your new boat?


Our Jokes Float

But Things Have Changed Lord!

 God, deciding that the Earth had become too wicked again, sent down Noah to build another ark and to again save two of every living thing. “You have six months before I send the great flood.” God said.

Six months later, God called in the thunder and lightning and the rain came. He looked down and found Noah very distraught and with not one plank on the boat’s hull.

“Noah, I have started the storm, why is the boat not finished?”

“There have been some construction delays Lord. First I was told I needed a building permit. Then a group called PETA protested saying that it was inhumane to put all the animals in such a small place. Then I was told that because I lived in a flood plain I could not build the ark there. I told them that building it in a flood plain was exactly the point but that did not impress them. My new location was fine but the EPA had to first do an environmental impact study that held up construction until just yesterday!”

Suddenly the clouds cleared up and a beautiful rainbow crossed the celestial horizon.
“I’m calling you back.” God said.

“aren't you going to destroy the world Lord?" Noah asked.

“What’s the point?” God said. “It looks like someone beat me to it!”

Our Jokes Float

Nautical Dress Code

A boater brings his boat up to a restaurant dock to eat dinner. The dockhand says,
"I'm sorry, sir, but I can't let you dine here tonight. This establishment has a necktie policy for the evening meal and you are not wearing one."

The boater said, "I'm sure I don't have a tie on my boat!"

The dockhand, not wanting to turn away a customer, said, "Well, why don't you just find something that approximates a tie. I'm sure that will be okay."

After some time, the boater emerged from his cabin sporting a pair of jumper cables. "Sorry", the boater said," but this is all I could find to put around my neck."

Sighing, the dockhand said "okay, I'll let you in with those, but just don't start anything."

Thanks for Stopping By!

Nautical Lingo 1

An ensign on sea duty for the first time overheard a recruit say he was going downstairs. “Listen, sailor," he snarled, "Downstairs is below, that side is starboard, that's aft and that's port side. If I ever hear you say one more civilian word like "downstairs" again I'll throw you through that little round window over there!"

Our Jokes Float

Nautical Lingo 2

The Steamboat Captain brought his son along on a short cruise upriver to show him what he does for a living. All the kid wanted to do was steer the boat. Insisting that his father taught him enough to handle the job he asked the pilot to let him take the helm.

"Okay", said the pilot , "but you must pass a small test first.

If I asked you to turn to the left, what nautical term should I use?" "Turn to Port", said the boy. "Correct", said the pilot.

"If I wanted you to turn the boat to the right, what direction would that be?" "Starboard", said boy grinning from ear to ear. "Good for you", said the pilot.

"And straight?" asked the pilot. The boy quickly replied, " Without ice."

Our Jokes Float

Pass The....

First sailor: "Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you?"

Second sailor: "No way, Jose!"

First sailor: "Why not?"

Second sailor: "It's against regulations to help another sailor to dessert!"

Thanks for Stopping By!

Two Step and a Missed Step

Two elderly fishermen, John and Paul, were out on the lake bright and early one morning. They sat silently as they fished. Each kept very still so as not to frighten off any fish. After six hours, John shifted his feet. Paul said, "What is it with you? Did you come out here to fish or dance?"

The captain of the cruise liner fell down the stairs on to the promenade deck. The cruise director saw him fall and rushed to his aide. "Captain," he said, " did you miss a step?"

"No," said the captain, " I'm pretty sure I hit every one!

Our Jokes Float

Whatever You Say Sir!

It was a dark, stormy, night. The Sailor was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty. The Captain stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervous young Seaman snapped to attention, made a perfect salute, and shouted out ," Good Evening, Sir!"

The Captain returned the salute and said "Good evening Seaman, nice night, isn't it?" Well it wasn't a nice night, but the Sailor wasn't going to disagree with the Captain, so the he saluted again and replied "Yes Sir!".

The Captain continued, "You know there's something about a stormy night that I find soothing, it's really relaxing. Don't you agree?" The Seaman didn't agree, but then the seaman was just a seaman, and responded " Yes Sir!"

Then the Captain, pointing at the dog and said, "This is a Golden Retriever, the best type of dog to train." The Seaman glanced at the dog and said " Yes Sir!" The Captain continued "I got this dog for my wife." The Seaman simply said, "Good trade Sir!"

Our Jokes Float

Trained and Too Ready

It was my first week as a junior ship's engineer. I've been told that if the alarm rings, we should rush towards the muster station to escape immediately.

One day I was sleeping after a full day of work. Suddenly I heard the alarm and immediately realized I needed to escape. I quickly put on my life jacket and started running in a panic. On the next deck, I saw the cadet walking casually . He asked me why I was running.

I told him that the ship is in danger and I want to escape. He said, "Oh! You want to escape?" " Why are trying to jump off the boat? You can "escape" using the gangway." (I forgot the ship was berthed.... the alarm was just being tested).
Submitted by S.Ganesh, Velur,Tamilnadu. India.

Our Jokes Float

Huts Galore

A sailor was marooned on a deserted island for 20 years.

He was finally rescued by a merchant marine ship. As the sailor was packing his meager belongings the captain of the ship asked, "I noticed you have built four huts. You are the only person on the island. What are they for?"

"Well", said the sailor, "this one is my residence, the second is my church and that third is my micro brewery where I make coconut beer."

"That's very interesting", said the captain, " but, what about the fourth hut?" Oh", said the sailor, "That's the church I belonged to before I started drinking Coconut Beer."

Thanks for Stopping By!

A Boat, a Lady and One Dead Bird

A lady on a cruise bought a parrot on an island stop and took it back to the ship. After two days at sea the lady found her new friend laying on its back - feet pointed straight up.

She hailed the ship's doctor, "Please help my friend," wailed the lady. "I'm sorry the bird is quite dead" said the doc. "No, can't be", cried the lady.

The doctor called in his own pet, a Labrador retriever, which sniffed the bird, shook his head and walked out.

Next, the doctor called in his cat which carefully walked a circle around the bird and walked out.

"No doubt about it ", said the doctor, "That is a dead bird."

The doctor reached for his pen and pad. He wrote out a bill and handed it to the lady. "Eight Hundred dollars!?" cried the lady.

"That's Correct! I'm charging you for three procedures. There is my opinion, a lab report and a cat scan."

Our Jokes Float

Long Time No See!

There's a knock at the front door. A man opens it and looks down to find a snail sitting on the stoop. He picks up the little critter and throws it as far as he can.

Three years later, there's a knock. The man opens the door, looks down and there sits the same snail.

The snail looks up and says, " Okay, what was that all about!?"

Drew Carey, (Dirty Jokes and Beer)

Thanks for Stopping By!

And You Must be ....

Pat says to the Mike, "Where did you get that shiner? It's a dozy! "

Mike said, "Do you know that cute women who is a nurse at the infirmary?"

"Why yes I do", said Pat, "she is quite the looker! The word is that there has been some hanky -panicky between you and her. I also know that her husband just got back from sea duty!!"

"That, my friend, is a little piece of information I could have used BEFORE I decided to visit her apartment, take a shower and when the bathroom door opened, jump out yelling surprise!!"

Our Jokes Float

Some Service!

The lonely bachelor wrote to a dating service explaining that he had specific criteria for a potential mate and would not accept anyone who falls below his standards. He went on to explain that the candidate should be cute and short, who enjoys water sports, is a team player and who enjoys group activities.

He received an envelope the following week. It it was a picture of a penguin.

Thanks for Stopping By!

A Few Good Men?

Getting a new girlfriend is a little like joining the Navy. You clean up, get a haircut, buy new cloths and any important information will be given to you strictly on a need to know basis.

Our Jokes Float

Things you won't hear a true fisherman say........

-"Wow, I've never caught a fish that big!"
-"Hey! Let's take our wives fishing!"
-"My truck can't get through that!"
-"Let's go shopping, fishing can wait."
-"Hank, those hip boots make your butt look big and they don't match your belt!"
-"Hey, we don't need to buy those fishing flies Melvin, let's send our wives flowers instead?"
-"I don't think Duct Tape will fix that."
-"I caught all those rainbows on night crawlers."
-"I feel pretty guilty not washing those breakfast dishes before coming out here to fish!"
-"Hey somebody come land this 20" rainbow for me. I need to straighten up the camp."
-"I can't participate in National Hunting and Fishing Day cause my neighbor is throwing a Tupperware party and I really need a mixing bowl."
-"I think electronic fish finders should be banned."
-"Come on , man - we can watch bass fishing anytime! Figure skating's on!!"
-"We gotta throw this fish back, I don't think it will fit in the frying pan."

Submitted by Member Phil of Bethel Island, CA
Our avyc WAVE


This one comes to us from Member Bart!

Years ago, in Reader's Digest, was an article about the old diesel submarines. As the story goes, the boat was headed out to sea from Pearl Harbor when the Captain yells to a green seaman on the bow to "house the anchor". The seaman understood the captain was saying "How is the anchor?" So the seaman responded, "The anchor is fine."

After several attempts to get the seaman to understand, the frustrated Captain said, "Oh hell let it go!" At which time the seaman knocks the chock out of the anchor chain. The anchor and 600 fathoms of chain roars out of the boat and when it reaches the end, takes out the bulkhead.

Our avyc WAVEThanks Bart!


Glad to Ear Ya!

A young Naval officer was in a serious car accident, but the only visible permanent injury was to both of his ears, which were amputated. Since he wasn't physically impaired he remained in the Navy and eventually rose to the rank of Admiral. He was, however, very sensitive about his appearance.

One day the new Admiral was interviewing three people for the position of his personal aide. The first officer was an accomplished submariner, and it was a great interview. At the end the Admiral asked him, "Do you notice anything different about me?" The young officer answered, "Why yes, sir. I couldn't help but notice that you have no ears." The Admiral got very angry at this lack of tact and threw him out.

The second interview was with a female Squadron Supply Officer, and she was even better than the first officer, and with a better file. The Admiral asked her the same question, "Do you notice anything different about me?" She replied, "Well, sir, you have no ears." The Admiral threw her out also.

The third interview was with a Navy Chief Petty Officer. He was articulate, looked extremely sharp and seemed to know more than the other two officers combined. The Admiral wanted this guy, and went ahead with the same question, "Do you notice anything different about me?" To his surprise the Chief said, "Yes sir; you wear contact lenses." The Admiral was very impressed and thought, what an incredibly observant Chief Petty Officer, and he didn't mention my ears. "And how do you know that I wear contacts?" the Admiral asked. The sharp-witted Chief replied, "Well, sir, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with no ears!"

Our avyc WAVESubmitted by Member Larissa from Kingston Canada!


Indubitably My Good Watson, Pass the Bate!

Sherlock Holmes and Matthew Watson were on a fishing trip. They had gone night fishing and were lying on the deck, lines in the water looking up at the sky. Holmes said, "Watson, look up. What do you see? "Well, I see thousands of stars." "And what does that mean to you?" "Well, I guess it means we will have another nice day tomorrow. What does it mean to you, Holmes?" "Well, to me, it means someone has stolen our Bimini top!"

Thanks for Stopping By!

Age is a State Of Mind...I Think!

The captain of the whaler found himself in need of a lookout on short notice. The ship was scheduled to return to the hunt the next day and the owner of the whaler was very demanding and unpleasant when disappointed.

The captain put out the word that a sharp-eyed lookout was needed and any candidates should report to the ship that evening at 1700 hours sharp.

At the appointed time the captain arrived on deck finding only one candidate onboard; a very old looking man. "How old are you?", asked the captain.

" I'm eighty years old last November and I have the sharpest eyes in town." said the old man. "Is that so?", laughed the captain. Knowing he could not read it himself, he said, "Tell me old man what does that sign say on the dock across the bay?"

The old man said, " No fishing by order of the constable." The captain was shocked when he verified it using his telescope. That was exactly what the sign read!

"Well, that's all well and good", said the captain, "but you'll never be able to get to the crow's-nest being a man of advanced years. "With that the old man took off and traversed up the mast, slapped the crow's-nest and returned to the deck in front of a totally shocked captain. "You're hired!" yelled the captain, "I have never been so impressed with a seaman than I am with you on this day. Report for duty, ready to ship out at dawn."

The next morning after the old man had reported for duty, the ship's helmsman and harpooner visited the captain's cabin and expressed concern about the captain's new hire. "He's an old man", said the harpooner, "he'll never see the whales and I'll not know where to aim!" "Yes", said the helmsman, "and he must be too feeble to climb the mast to give me a heading to steer!" "Fear not", said the captain, " That old man is one of the best candidates for lookout I have ever seen. He'll do just fine."

The whaler was out on the very next day and ready for action when the shout came from the crow's-nest, "Whaaaaale Ho!". Excitedly the captain yelled, " Great job lookout, in what direction does the whale swim?" There was no answer. Again the captain yelled, " what direction should the helmsman steer?" After a pause the answer came back,..... " I forget."

Thanks for Stopping By!

Your Reservation Please!

I'm not saying that Paul and John failed to properly clean up after their regular boating trips but the local restaurant that they frequented, started getting reservations requesting the "No Fishing" section!


A Pool for My Baby

The rich tycoon bought a luxury yacht for his only daughter upon her graduation.

It was large and even had its own onboard pool. The tycoon dad brought the daughter aboard for the first time for a tour of the boat. The last thing to see was the pool.

All around the pool were shirtless ship construction workers finishing up some painting.

The daughter clasped her hands and screeched, " Oh, daddy it's a wonderful pool and you've even stocked it for me!"

Thanks for Stopping By!

Beer Drinking Etiquette

A recreational boater, a tugboat crewman, and an old salt sailor went into a bar and each ordered a beer. Each found a fly in their beer. (It must have been the special of the day).

The recreational boater looked in his beer and said, "hey bartender I have a fly in my beer. Give me another beer."

The tugboat crewman looked in his beer, found the fly, reached in an picked it out and continued drinking.

The old salt sailor looked in his beer, saw the fly, grabbed it by the wings, shook it over the glass and yelled, "Spit it out, Spit it out!"

Submitted by Members Gail and Bobby. To the couple we offer our best AVYC Wave!
Our avyc WAVE

Star Bright

The captain was lining up his sextant when a shooting star streaked across the sky. Observing this, the helmsman said to the captain, "Nice shot sir!"


Your Time is Not My Time

A boat painter was awarded the job of painting a small sail boat and when he was asked by the owner, how long it would take him to finish the job, he replied, "Two weeks".

Three weeks went by and the owner, a little concerned of the delay, confronted the painter. "Hey Paul", said the owner, "You told me that it would take you two weeks to paint my boat and its been three weeks....What's up with that?" The painter put his paintbrush down, looked the owner square in the eye and said, "That was two NAUTICAL weeks, like a nautical mile, they're a little longer".

Submitted by Paul S of Kailua Hawaii Our avyc Wave of THANKS!

Misdirect Logic

One morning John noticed something floating towards the deserted island that had become his home since the ship sank six months ago.

As the object came closer, he realized that it was a large barrel. He very soon thereafter realized that hanging on to the barrel was a very scantily clad woman. In fact she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Arriving on shore the woman left the barrel and slowly and suggestively walked towards John. She whispered into John's ear, " I have something you want!"

John broke into a dead run towards to breaking waves yelling, "Don't tell me you've got beer in that barrel!"

Our Jokes Float

Grab Those Puppies!

The woman quickly realized that the large wave had unceremoniously dispatched the top part of her bikini into the deep.

More than a little embarrassed, she clasped her arms across her chest and made a dash for her car. She could sense everyone gawking at her along the way.

Upon entering the parking lot a little boy, who was following his mother to the beach asked, pointing to her arms, "Are you carrying puppies in there?",

Not wanting to explain what had really happened, the woman replied, " Why yes, yes they are. She quickly moved on but heard the boy shout after her, "If you're giving them away I'll take the one with the pink nose!"


See Honey?....See?!

A bum, who obviously has seen more than his share of hard times, approached a well dressed gentleman on the street.

"Hey, buddy, can you spare two dollars?" The well-dressed gentleman responds, "You are not going to spend it on liquor are you?" "No, sir, I don't drink," retorts the bum.

"You are not going to throw it away in some card game, are you?" asks the gentleman. "No way, I don't gamble," answers the bum. "

You wouldn't waste the money for fishing gear, flies, boots or rods, would you?" asks the man. "Never," says the bum, "I don't fish."

The man asks the bum if he would like to come home with him for a home cooked meal. The bum accepts eagerly.

While they are heading for the man's house, the bum's curiosity gets the better of him. "Isn't your wife going to be angry when she sees a guy like me at your table?" "Probably," says the man, "but it will be worth it. I want her to see what happens to a guy who doesn't drink, fish or gamble''

Sent in by our friends at Fishing Adventures Thailand and also by Member Jean!To both we send our best AVYC Wave!Our avyc WAVE


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